Saturday, August 06, 2005

The Lurid Fantasy Life of Ann Coulter

It is not true that Ann Coulter’s last date was with Joseph McCarthy. That is outrageous. Ann may well be fascinated with and obsessed by Joseph McCarthy; he may well be her fantasy soul mate, divided from her forever by death a la Somewhere in Time, but she never dated him in this reality. No one ever accused Joe McCarthy of being a child molester. The man died on May 2, 1957 when Ann was just a very small girl.
In the interests of truth in reportage we looked for evidence of Ann’s age and found reports varying between December 8, 1949 to the same day in 1966. Since the right to lie about your age is the First Amendment of the Woman’s Bill of Rights we dropped the issue.
Anyway, her regular escort and the man with whom she spends time is Matt Drudge. That also raises questions, but again, despite the present struggle on the part of Republicans of the Neo-Con predilection to install monitoring devices in our bedrooms we will not inquire as to the specifics of her relationship with a man who is commonly known to be as gay as Oscar Wilde.
In her current book, Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, which has carried her from the ghetto of political punditry onto the normally politically neuter pages of People Magazine, Ann continues her political bodice ripping by taking the specific accusations Joe hurdled at individuals and with collectivist aplomb that would elicit envy from Joseph Stalin, denounces in its varied entirety all individuals who are Liberal, Moderate Republican, and Democrat as guilty without benefit of trial of what was, the last time I checked, a capital offense; treason. I did not see a mention of Libertarians. But I am sure she also denounces them. Not that anyone pays much attention to Libertarians although when Ann tried to run for Congress as a Libertarian from her home in Connecticut the motley Libertarians united in saying, NO to Ann. Ann went on to describe the group as nerdy types still sleeping on Star Wars sheets and living in their mothers’ basements. True but unkind.
Coulter occupies a curious placement in the NeoCon attack strategy. She is an attractive female who is registered Republican and is ready, willing, and able to take on search and destroy missions against other women. There are a few others but Coulter is the Right’s shrillest feminine voice for those who are the least rational and most inclined to hysterical belief in conspiracy theories of all kinds. Most Republican women, members of NFRW, would suffer heart palpitations if they were subjected to her in the pure form. The Left’s feminine voice of hysteria can be nearly as shrill but there are more of them and they are generally ignored. However, they, unlike Coulter, do not write best selling books and gather a cult following, mostly male and mostly miserably single.
Coulter’s ‘discourse’ depends not on facts but on the emotional wattage of her attacks used with the scalpel-like precision of a machine-gun in a Terminator movie. According to Coulter women should never have gotten the right to vote and should never enjoy equal rights. She was bounced as a columnist for National Review for calling on America to, " invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.” in one memorably typical moment of testosterone overload and collectivist excess.
Collectivism is ugly, no matter who uses it as a means to demean.
Not that she depends entirely on collectivist tactics. Coulter is not above whimpering like a woman and having tantrums when such tactics will work.
Faced with the specter of a real debate with a fellow conservative who has been critical of her disregard for fact checking and rationality she was heard whispering to the TV host, Barry Nolan on his show last week, Night Beat, out of Brookline, Mass., that they could not have the rebuttal speaker previously scheduled and waiting in the wings. Fear and tears trembled in her words, which she did not realize the potential speaker could hear. The speaker, Dan Bouchers, was cut immediately. Ladies must be protected, after all. You can learn more about what Dan thinks on his site:
Bouchers has a record of ignoring Coulter’s pulchritudinous appearance to focus on what she says. Most media hosts are not made of such stern stuff.
The issue that should draw the intelligent mind is the means Coulter uses to accomplish her success – which has not been to encourage dialogue and move discourse but to fatten her own pocketbook at the expense of intellectual honesty and a decent regard for civility.
Ann uses fear and hate as weapons and hides behind her appearance. One wonders what would have happened if instead of looking like Anna Nicole Smith and sounding like Adolph Hitler she had looked like him and sounded like her. One wonders.
In the final analysis we speak the truth more from what we do than from what we say. What Coulter has been doing is profiting from selling the rhetoric of hate. While the eyes of the credulous are on her bottom, her eyes are firmly on the bottom line.

1 comment:

blake said...

great article-loved the hitler part and i think its true-mann coulter is a complete b****